Funny art prints in the UK: a guide from a man who sells humour

My motto is "I don't sell art, I sell humour". It started as a joke and turned into a business plan. Every weekend at my stall in Covent Garden I watch people walk past, stop, read, snort, and then grab whoever they came with. That snort is the whole point.

So yes, I'm biased. But I've also spent years watching which funny prints people actually buy, and which ones they laugh at and leave. Here's what I've learned.

What makes a funny print actually funny?

A pun is not a joke. "Wine o'clock" is not a joke. Here's what works on a wall:

• It's specific. "Please Leave by 9pm" is funnier than "I love sleep" because you can picture the dinner party.
• It's a little bit wrong. A rule nobody would actually put up, said with total confidence.
• It's still funny on day 300. Some jokes are fun once. The good ones become part of the house.

The funny prints people buy most

Here are the ones that cause the most snorting at the stall.

Please Don't Do Cocaine in the Bathroom is my signature piece, and the one that ends up in a lot of photos. It works because it's a house rule written like a sincere notice from the management. There's even a "Come Share" version for the more generous host. This Ain't the Ritz is for anyone who has guests who treat the place like a hotel. Please Leave by 9pm is how introverts host.

Funny prints for the kitchen and the party crowd

The champagne series is for people with a fizz budget bigger than their food budget. Press for Champagne goes next to a doorbell or a drinks trolley. No Touching in the Champagne Room is a rule, a joke and a warning.

Funny prints that are a bit ruder

I also paint a vulgar range, for people whose friends swear in every sentence. Lovingly.

Rude prints are the best gifts for the right person, and the worst for the wrong one. Before you buy for someone else, ask yourself one question: would they say this out loud? If yes, buy it. If you're unsure, there are cleaner options below. The whole vulgar collection is under vulgar quotes.

Clean but still funny

For the office, your mum or a gift where you don't know the sense of humour:

Ha Ha Ha No is the reply to every meeting invite. I'm a Drama Queen is a self-aware compliment. Not Today Satan is for Mondays.

Want your own joke on the wall?

Every family has a saying. The thing your dad says when he loses his keys. The rule your flatmates made after That Night. I paint commissions with your words, your colours and your size, so the in-joke finally gets the wall it deserves. Have a look at commissions, or tell me the phrase on WhatsApp and I'll tell you honestly if it'll work.

Where to hang a funny print

• The bathroom. Small wall, captive audience, maximum impact.
• Next to the front door. A joke on the way in sets the mood.
• Above the bar cart. Champagne prints, obviously.
• The home office. For the face you make on video calls.

Steamy rooms are hard on paper, so frame bathroom prints behind glass. My guide to framing art prints explains what to buy.

Why funny art is having a moment

People are done with beige. After years of minimalist line drawings, everyone wants a wall that has a personality. I've written a whole piece on why funny prints are trending, but the short version: a laugh is the best thing a room can give you.

Funny prints make the best gifts

A funny print says "I know exactly who you are" in a way that a candle never will. Prints are £20, which is a very normal present budget, and I'll wrap by hand if you ask. More ideas in art gift ideas UK.

Funny print questions